dearanonymousfriend

Ramblings from a would be writer

Words…

I haven’t been on my blog much the past few weeks, but, I have been writing.  I have spent the past couple of months writing, thinking and preparing for a Bible Study that I have shared with a wonderful group of ladies at my church.  It is always an honor to speak and this time was no different.

What I have really thought about these past few weeks is words.  How we say things is as important as what we say. Wording is so very important, isn’t it?

I know I have failed miserably in the past to put thoughts into words and also writing before actually thinking things through.  But, I suppose we are all guilty of saying things to others before thinking of how they may come out and how they may sound to the other person.

We truly do not know what is going on inside another person.  We do not know the pain or anguish or stress they may be carrying, yet are not showing it to the outside world.  How we respond in words can make a person’s day or ruin it.

Several times this past year I have spoken without thinking.  I know it has caused pain, but, even after apologizing, the pain, for me, was still there.  Words can damage a heart if spoken in haste or without thought.  So, for the past few weeks, I have been cautious as to how I am wording conversations.

This experience has revealed several things to me.  First, the adage, if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all, should be tattooed in my eyelids so that  I can always see them.  Secondly, don’t expect forgiveness to come easily if you have harmed someone with your words.  I am the type of person who can flare up, but within an hour, I am sorry, and have recognized that I have been wrong.  I have learned not everyone is like me.  Thirdly, lack of words is worse than an abundance of words.  It is a very fine line and I am learning, unfortunately, how to be a tight rope walker.

I have thought in the past that a blog is where you can write things you may be feeling and with that you can release emotions that may not be an easy part of yourself to reveal.  I am rethinking that.  A part of my Bible Study has been to encourage women to be themselves and to not hide behind masks that are so much a part of being a human being, especially a woman.  We tend to hide and only reveal our strength, our firmness, and not allow our fragile side to come out.   Sometimes, in writing words, we reveal a soft side and it can be poked and bruised easily.

I am hoping that through these past few weeks, I have learned much about words and wording and coming out behind masks.    I have always loved words, and putting them together.  I have always loved being able to have a few close friends that I can share spoken words with.  My love of words is still a very present part of me, and I look forward to learning more about how and what to write.    Cathi (DAF)

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Words…

I have thought about writing about words for the past couple of months.  In that time, I even heard a sermon that talked about words and the impact they have on others.

I have thought about words a lot lately.  I have thought  about the written word, the Word of God, and the spoken word.  We easily toss words around.  We speak in jest, we speak in anger, we speak seriously, and with humor.

I know I have spoken words that have hurt lately, and honestly, I didn’t care if they hurt.  This caused me to stop and think about what came out of my mouth, and what came out with my writing.

Words echo on in the minds of the people who hear or read them.  When you think about it, it is an awesome responsibility.  Do I truly want words that hurt and offend to be what people think about?  In a moment of weakness or anger or frustration, do I speak life or death to people?  In a time when I am wanting to lash out and empty myself of pain and situations that bother me, do I write words that do not bring hope or joy to people?

Words are powerful things.  I still remember things said to me when I was in elementary school.  Things that hurt me and made me self-conscious of who I was and what I looked like.  These things shaped my thinking.

I have been in awe of the powerful ability of words.  It has made me stop and think about what I write.  It has made me stop and think before speaking.  It has made me stop and ask myself if this is truly how I feel or am I just spewing out things that make me feel better at the cost of others.

I don’t have a solution to any of this, but, I did want to share it with all of you.  What are your thoughts on this?  Have you ever had a time where you became aware of words?  Their beauty, their harshness, their life?    Just wondering, and I hope to hear your thoughts on this.

Thanks, DAF

 

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Definitions….

Last night I had a call from a long time friend.  We met in Japan while we were both young military wives starting with our families.  We went for years without conversations, and had lost touch with one another.  A few years back, I discovered her on Facebook and our friendship was renewed with joy on both our parts.  We talk to one another a few times a month and each conversation is animated and full of details.

Last night we talked about joy and provision and peace.  It was a conversation filled with prayer and tears and friendship.  Upon hanging up, I went online and started doing a word search on the topics we covered.  So often, I find, that I use words daily that I have not considered what the definition of the words are.   We learn vocabulary in elementary school, and that is built on during our secondary school years.  As an adult, I have an interest in the definitions of commonly used words.   I find it interesting to renew my mind in reading the meaning of these words, it makes the words come alive for me.

The words that come alive provoke feelings in me that surprise me.  As a Christian, I have often heard that the Lord will never forsake us.  I once looked up the word forsake and it’s definition is to renounce or turn away from entirely.  When I read that, it filled me with such peace and comfort.  To know that the Creator of the Universe would not turn away from me.  I love that thought.

On waking up this morning, I still had the idea of definitions floating around my head.  I went about my day, cleaning and airing out guest rooms and bathrooms in preparation for some dear friends coming to visit this week.  The anticipation of having time with them filled me with excitement and joy.

Since I had just looked up the meaning of joy last night, I knew this was the correct word to the feeling I was experiencing.  I once more began to think of the definitions of words and realized that they were tied together with emotions and feelings.

This was brought home when I saw a photo.  Normally photos do not illicit deep responses in me.  I can smile at what I see, I can love the people I see, I can wish that I was there to hug on the person.  This photo affected me in ways I was not ready for.   I put the photo away where I won’t see it and it will stay there until I can resolve these feelings in me.  The tsunami that hit me was filled with the debris of anger and hurt and regret and sadness.  It flooded over me and has tried to carry me away in its’ wake.  I find my footing and then it ebbs and I find myself almost flowing with it.    Like a real tsunami it has penetrated into creaks and crevices of my spirit and brought to the surface things I wanted to stay put away.    The damage has been done though.  The muck and mire will be removed, I know this.  The emotions will be examined and defined.    I know all of this because last night I looked up the words joy, provision and peace.  Armed with the definitions, the wisdom that comes with age and most of all the knowledge that I serve a God who will not forsake me, I have the confidence that this tsunami that has hit me will pass, it will be cleaned and the ache and heartbreak will be healed.

Matthew 28:20b “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  (New Living Translation)

DAF

 

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