This past week we celebrated Little Man’s fourth birthday here. The pool was ready, the weather was wonderful and it was a great celebration.
Little Miss arrived before Little Man and the time with these two wonderful, lively human beings went much too fast.
Little Miss left just a few hours ago. The house is now quiet. I have picked up the living room of the remaining things lying around. Up the stairs went the books and balls and crayons and coloring books. A few stuffed animals went up the stairs also.
I put the things carried up into the guest area upstairs. I dared not go into the toy room, at least not yet. I was in there earlier this morning with Little Miss and the echoes resounding in there were deafening. The puzzle Little Man put together was still together on the floor. The paper he was painting on still laying there where he put it. The trucks are all crashed in disarray and there are puzzle pieces scattered throughout the room. Little Miss was in there copying how she had seen her cousin playing earlier this week. She was his shadow, mimicking everything he did.
They became cousins this week, I think. They no longer just stared at one another. She followed him closer than his shadow did. She was under his feet studying his each move. If he played with the ball, so did she. Of course this led to the normal stance of most young cousins, throwing things, pushing each other and grabbing things out of each other’s hands. It was delightful to see! I could picture them in years to come, chasing one another, challenging each other and having talks that only cousins can have. It made my heart swell and now, it brings tears to my eyes to think about it.
Yes, it is quieter without the grandchildren here. We are lonely for them. We dislike when they leave, our lives are just a bit duller and there is not enough laughter resounding between the two of us.
This visit, though, I realized it was not just the little kids that made leaving so hard. I have missed ‘my’ kids. My girls. Tell-tale signs that they were home make me stop and wipe a tear from my eye. Seeing towels put into the washer so I didn’t have to put them there. Reading a note in my guest room guest book. Seeing a guest room put back together and knowing she did it. Seeing a favorite coffee cup out and being hesitant to put it away into the dishwasher, knowing that she was the last one to hold it. Yes, all of these things make me wish for one more hug, one more laugh.
Times go by too fast. Times that we mostly take for granted. This week cemented in me that this house is a house we have dreamed of for years. It is a place where my kids and their kids can let their hair down. A place where they can relax and not worry about fingerprints on windows or sticky floors or bringing crayons into a livingroom. It is a place where you can bounce a ball or yourself down the stairs while laughing and screaming ‘boom’ or ‘bump’. A place to blow bubbles inside. This is the house I always wanted. A place with a screen door that slams. A place where there is adventure and fun. A place to jump off the side of a pool or from the ladder. This is home, this is where family come to be family, loud, noisy, laughing, talking, remembering and even being annoyed or frustrated. I am so thankful for my girls and their families. We may not be wealthy or have a pristine home, but, we are rich in being able to be a family. I have waited too many years for this and at long last it feels like my dreams have come true. A family that can come home, and relax. taking naps or finding a room to just sit and get caught up with one another.
I have had a great week. I sit here a little more tired, and a lot more lonely, but my heart is full when I listen to the echoes that are still bouncing around the room. My heart is full when I see remnants of toys and towels and floats for the pool. So, thank you to my girls and their families making this Grammy a happy one, albeit a very teary-eyed one today.
Thanks for stopping by, DAF (Cathi)