dearanonymousfriend

Ramblings from a would be writer

I can’t be that old…

Last night as I was waiting to go to sleep, I started to think of my oldest daughter.  Her birthday is tomorrow.  Her birthday gets to me each year.  It gets to me because she is getting older and I know that I cannot be old enough to have a daughter her age.

Yes, this is a personal post.  I am truly feeling sorry for myself today.  You see, when I think of my darling daughter, I see her with her Shirley Temple curls falling down her back.  I see her with her tiny tap shoes tapping with her Grandpa, laughing with him.

I see her standing in front of our full length mirror talking to herself.   I see her poking chubby fingers into the side of the crib talking to her ‘seester’.    I see her many ways.

Today, she is the mother of Little Miss.  A good mom.  A partner to a Navy man.  She has done what I have had to do.  Hold down the fort.  Keep the home fires burning.  Take care of the house and it’s occupants.  She does it well.

Yes, I am very proud of her, and yet, with each passing year as I watch her grow in grace and maturity, I feel a bit older.  So, my dear daughter, my first-born, Happy  Birthday!  I am proud to be your Mom, but, this making me feel older has to stop!  I still feel like I am your age, not mine!    I pray your day is filled with the very best.  Laughter with Little Miss and her Daddy and lots of hugs and kisses from them too.  Thanks for being you and for teaching me what motherhood is about.  Love you.

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September Thoughts…

There are certain times of the year that provoke a sense of reflection in me.  I write about these times often, for I believe that writing them down etches them in my mind more clearly.

The days leading up to the 11th of September is one of these seasons.  Tomorrow is Grandparents day, a holiday started in 1978.  I had no idea it was even a ‘thing’ until 1983 when I saw the first cards celebrating it.   I don’t even know who buys those cards, but each year I see them.

Tomorrow is the 15th anniversary of  9/11.  It is amazing to me that it has been 15 years.  It seems like yesterday that the horror of that day happened.  The images and repugnance reverberates to this day.  I will always remember and I will never forget.

But in the middle of these events is a sweet dance of my youngest daughter’s life.

In thinking on all of the above, it is amazing what stands out in vivid memory.  I can remember seeing those Grandparent Day cards being almost nine months pregnant, thinking I should buy one for my in-laws.  I thought I would send it from my oldest daughter, having her sign it and how they would love that.  I also thought that maybe my second  child would be born on that day.  I never got the card, and my baby did come on Grandparent’s Day.

I remember when she was born, looking at my sweet baby, a time that is burned into a mother’s mind.  Each child, so unique, so beautiful.  Seeing that baby for the first time and knowing that this look is the look you will cherish until your dying day.  I was handed my sweet child and looked down on her.  No sweet expression, just this scowl on her little face.  Staring up at me as if to say, “Lady, I am not happy.”  Literally, a scowl, one that still appears on her face this day, some  thirtysomething years later…  I looked down at her, laughed and said as only a mother can, “Well sweetie, you are the one who decided to come, I really had nothing to do with it.”    Yes, those sweet , sweet life moments I will never forget.

That morning fifteen years ago that sweet baby was up before me.  Hubby had already left for work, and her older sister was living on her own and on her way to work.  I came downstairs and wished her a happy birthday.  We were going for her driver’s test and I asked if she was ready.  She told me to turn on the t.v.  and horror hit me.  Last night as I thought on this, I thought of this child of mine.  She was basically alone when she first heard all of this on the radio.  I never thought of how any of this affected her.  What was going on in her mind, how did it color her birthday then and how does it affect her to this day?

Yes, it is funny how certain things stick out in your mind on different days.  Those are my thoughts this weekend.  The thought that comes most readily to mind is this.  I have been blessed with this child, now a grown woman.  Her life has filled mine with laughter.  Her life has brought me joy.  I asked the Lord early on what life lessons my children have taught me.  I wanted to know when they were young, so I could truly grasp the gifts they are.

My oldest has taught me unconditional love.  A lesson we all need to have.  To love , no matter what happens, how easy or difficult is may be.  That lesson has not only been for my oldest, but she taught me that for all areas of my life.

The birthday girl?  She taught me laughter.  I really do not think I laughed purely or openly until the day she was born.  She gave me the gift of mirth.  She has blessed me with being able to see the joy in all things.

So, happy birthday dear one.  Thank you for being you.  You truly are my special gift from Jesus.

                                                              ~Mom ~ Cathi (DAF)

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On Celebrating Little Man…

Two weeks ago Little Man turned three years old.  I cannot believe how fast the past three years have gone.

Hubby and I traveled to D.C. to join in the festivities.  We were excited to see him and visit with him.

He wanted a number party.  He loves numbers.  The online invitation had a guest list with it and beside each guest’s name was a number that was assigned to them.  Very smart, I thought.  My number was 6, hubby was 7.  His big stuffed Curious George was 11…. and of course, Little Man was the all important number 3.

Hubby and I usually do not don matching wardrobes, but, this day we did.  I got us new red tee shirts (his favorite color) and denim shorts.  The numbers were a bright navy blue, stick on felt, so that we did not have to continue to wear shirts emblazoned with the numbers 6 and 7.

It was a wonderful party!  This year he was into ripping into presents and wanted to open presents before any of the other activities, like visiting with one another, eating the lunch and just being with family.  My daughter had a lovely lunch filled with his favorite foods, he zeroed in on the bowl of grapes and blueberries and having them within arms reach was a great joy for him.  His cheeks looked like a squirrel preparing for winter.  His chubby hands brought grapes for everyone, he was in his element.

The time finally came for presents and he ripped through them all, playing with some and tossing some since he really had no idea what good they were.  We had a present we brought tossed, but, he really had no idea the importance of the helmet he needs for his trike (his Nana and Bibi bought him), and the roller skates which he didn’t have a clue about what they were.  We weren’t offended, and just laughed as he looked at them and put them off to the side, like, “What the heck is this?  This isn’t fun!”  However, he did love the big puzzle his Mama and Papa got him and set to working on that right away.

His cake was fun, a big 3 shaped cake that he helped to decorate.  It had a sparkler shaped like a three on it, and it sparkled while we all sang to him.  I shared my icing and while getting a share of my icing he informed me that he just wanted the frosting, not that black stuff (chocolate cake).

In all it was a wonderful celebration.  We laughed and smiled and remembered how precious this Little Man is to all who were there.  He is a little boy now, not a baby or a toddler, but a bona-fide little boy.  Filled with laughter and joy and energy.

And, yes, he did discover the mystery gift of skates later in the day when Grampy and I  helped him with them and held onto him while he skated down the hallway of the apartment.  He squealed and giggled and I think he decided that skates were a good idea in the long run.

Happy Birthday again Little Man, thank you for making my life filled with a bit more laughter and joy.  You are a special gift to us from Jesus.

Thanks for stopping by, DAF

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Over three decades ago….

31 years ago today, I woke up and decided to have a cook-out.  We had friends coming over to help organize my new house and to help me out.

I got up, fixed some macaroni salad, put some beans in to bake and got hot dogs and hamburgers ready for the grill.

I made cherry kool-aid, as it is the go-to drink for military families and waited for our friends.

The friends came over, their kids played with out oldest and the grown ups organized the family room and unpacked some other boxes.  We fumigated the garage to get rid of the black widow spiders that had moved in along with us for some reason and we ate.

I remember this day clearly because it was the last day of my life without my youngest.  I had no idea the impact she would make on our family.  The joy she brings her older sister, the pride our oldest feels about her.  The jokes they share and the nick names they have.

She completed our family as it was then.  She made our family whole, even though we thought it was already great.

It seems impossible that tomorrow she will be 31(sorry Sweetie, but at least you are anonymous…).  The time seems to have sped by for her to be that age.

Yesterday we skyped together, she, our Little Man and me.  She told me of what her week is like, and what she is thinking and planning.  She was beaming with excitement and anticipation.  She filled my heart with joy that overflows my eyes with tears.  She is a gift to me.  I have told her that throughout her life.  She continues to be that gift.

Happy birthday eve, Sweetie.  May tomorrow be filled with laughter, love and lots of Little Man hugs and kisses.

DAF

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Ode to a Friend (Happy Birthday Susie!)

To my dear friend, Susie, happy birthday!

I couldn’t find a card that expressed my thoughts or feelings and so I did not buy one.  Besides, you make such gorgeous cards that most in the store pale in comparison to your creations.

My friend Susie, for those who aren’t aware, has been a lifetime friend.  I first met her some 34  years ago this coming June.   She is the mother of my son-in-law and we share the wonderful privilege of our grandson.

Susie has been my mentor, my instructor, my friend, my cohort in crime (we posed as Thelma and Louise once, although we didn’t know who was who) and a wonderful cross-country road trip companion.

We have laughed until we couldn’t breathe, and cried in each other’s arms.  We have had people stare at us in disbelief while we order coffee and we have talked with cowboys and wedding planners.

So many experiences, so many memories and so much of our life we have shared.

I wanted those who read my blog to know of my friend on this day, her birthday.  I send her all my heart can hold in wishes for blessings for this year.  For those who want to read a great blog and see some beautiful handmade cards I suggest you go to http://www.summerwalkdesigns.com/

Thank you for stopping by, it is a blessing to me.  And, Susie, if you read this, happy, happy birthday my dear precious friend.  I love you!  DAF

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