A couple of weeks ago, I turned 66. Honestly, I never thought I would see this age. My mother was in her early 40’s when she passed away and I always thought that the best part of life would happen before that age.
So, when it appeared that I was going to outlive her, I thought that aging should be graceful. Thoughts of elegant women in flowing clothing is how I pictured coming to this age. I figured that somehow I would reach this age and be elegant. HA! I reached this age like I have all the previous ones. Rushing headlong, like the proverbial bull in a china shop.
And now, that I am here, I confess that although I creak and crack a bit more, mentally, I still feel and think like I did at 16. Well, truthfully, some thoughts are different. I may have some of grumpy old lady tendencies lurking in the corners, but I am not ready for the rocking chair full time.
I suppose I should take inventory and make goals as to what I will miraculously do this year, but, the older I get the more honest and blatant I get. I dream of doing so much, but the reality is that I get tired. I grow weary and I hesitate. I could say this is part of aging, but, I have been this way for a good forty years! I do know that I am still trying to put my mark in this world. I strive to be everything our Lord created me to be. I know the bulk of my life is behind me as I know I do not have another 60 years left (what a frightening thought!). So, this year I wait to see what happens. Will I write more than the opening of that novel that lays dormant in my mind? Will I teach and minister to women? Will I actually clean out my junk room? It all remains a mystery. So, instead of flowing, graceful clothing, I will once more put on my raggy jeans, stained tee shirt and tennis shoes and live my life just like that bull in a china shop.
Thanks for stopping by, Cathi (DAF)