Self Revelation…

During this time of quarantine when we have all the time we thought we never had, how much are we actually accomplishing?

I know I am one who says, if we weren’t so busy I would….  and then fill in the blanks.  Some of those blanks are, I would really get a good start on my book.   I would be more consistent blogging.  I would paint my bedroom.   I would work on my screen porch.  The list is endless.

So, here we are, towards a month of staying in.  I have done things in fits.   Yes, there was that week where I posted on my blog daily.   That was two weeks ago.   I have done maybe whole day of researching for my book.  I have thought about painting my bedroom.  I have looked at my screen porch.  But, I haven’t accomplished anything, really. 

Today in my devotion time I read where God can give you a tap on the shoulder or hit you with a two by four to get my attention.   I have always said He has a two by four with my name on it that is right beside His throne of Grace.  Also during my devotion time I was lamenting not accomplishing anything.  This time it was a tap on the shoulder and I realized something about myself.  I am a fits and starts person.  I just looked it up, as I am apt to do when writing, so that I am correct in my phraseology.   According to this adjective is defined as:  (of similar things or occurrences) appearing or happening at irregular intervals in time; occasional: sporadic renewals of enthusiasm.  appearing in scattered or isolated instances, as a disease.  isolated, as a single instance of something; being or occurring apart from others.  occurring singly or widely apart in locality.    Synonyms for fits and starts are choppy, jerky, sporadic, spastic, just to name a few.

So, today’s lesson for me is that no amount of time and lack of schedule truly changes who I am.  I will put off what I don’t feel like doing.  My thoughts of how noble I would be if I had all the time in the world have been burst.  I will now go and eat my humble pie and think of how I can change some of these behaviors. 

Thank you for listening to my confession.  I hope you will absolve me while I am trying to figure out how to change 65 years of behavior!   Stay safe, stay healthy and wash those hands!   Cathi (DAF)

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