I usually do any deep reflecting at the end of the year, after Christmas and right around the New Year’s celebrations. That is when I think of the past year and ponder what the new year will bring. That is the way I have done it for years and years (and if I was truthful, I would add another ‘and years’ to that statement).
So, it has been unusual for me to begin to reflect this early in the year. This time of year is when I complain about the heat and the mosquitoes, if nothing else, I am a creature of habit. Specific things for specific times.
I have a great-niece (actually, I have six nieces that are great) but this is actually a great-niece as in my niece’s daughter, hopefully that made sense. She is a wonderful young woman, (as is her sister), and she recently graduated from high school. Her Facebook posts reflect those of a recent graduate. They are filled with emotion and excitement, determination, anticipation and mixed in with all of that, is a measure of uncertainty and if I am being truthful, fear. This is an exciting time for her. Her whole life is before her. A vast hallway filled with open doors and adventures. She is standing in the doorway, ready to embark on the rest of her life.
Yesterday hubby and I were having a conversation with some friends. We were talking about our age and how quickly we came to the point we are. We talked how we felt on the inside versus how we ‘looked’ on the outside. It’s a conversation I have had several times in the past few years. In fact, I find myself saying the same things while having these conversations.
This morning I woke up in a pondering mood. I lay in bed as I thought of my life. I really could see many opportunities that I passed on. I realized that my vast hallway filled with open doors had many doors still open or halfway closed, all covered in cobwebs for not being used. I wondered if I regretted not exploring them. As I dressed for the day listening to my creaking joints and looking at my gray hair, it occurred to me that, yes, I am as old as I look, no matter how young I may think I am.
I know these were deep thoughts for a Monday morning, but, when my mind starts a journey of thought, I determine that I will see it through, with or without my first cup of coffee.
A couple of songs went through my mind. The first, by the Byrd’s , “Turn, Turn, Turn” and then just a snippet of Frank Sinatra’s classic, “I did it my way” But, for the latter, the only phrase that stuck in my mind was “regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”.
There were two things I took away from my morning musing which, obviously I am going to share with you. The first, I did not explore all that was available to me, but, I would not travel back down that vast hallway just to see what I missed.
Secondly, each part of our life is a new season. Each part of our life finds us at the doorway of a hallway. That hallway may not be as long as what it was when we were freshly out of school, but, nevertheless, it is a hallway filled with open doors. We each have new things to discover and explore. New adventures await. So, by this afternoon, this white-haired, creaky lady, who still feels like she is eighteen, albeit a very slow-moving eighteen year old is about to take a step from the doorway into her hall.
I also leave you with a quote from Ecclesiastes, which is where the song mentioned above came from. This is Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 from the New Living Translation. It sort of sums up how I am feeling on this Monday afternoon. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
Thank you for stopping by today, hope you are having a good day. Cathi (DAF)