Yes, it’s the third day of this new year. No, I haven’t been celebrating for the past four days. I am just now getting around to reading blog entries and deciding to write.
I have read blogs talking of new starts, new hope, blank slates. All of them poignant and encouraging. To be honest, this year, I haven’t done my usual inventory of the past year and I haven’t thought about this new year. As cynical as it sounds, my thoughts have been wondering what all will happen this year.
Each year I have tried to look ahead. I try to plan things I would like to do. I don’t call them resolutions because I know by February I will have forgotten what I resolved to do. I just like to make mental plans of what I could do during the year.
Except this year. I haven’t a clue as to what this year holds. I know whatever happens, with the grace of God, I will get through it. The grace of God is what has gotten me through several years. It is only by His grace, His care and His love that I am where I am.
A year ago today, if someone were to have told me that my hubby was going to be laid up throughout the summer and I would have to do the things I had to do this summer, I would have run screaming through our woods hoping to get lost and never found. I would not have had the courage to go through this year. I would have quit. I wouldn’t have gone forward.
That’s the thing about not knowing the future. We may not have the courage to proceed if we know what is in store for us.
So, as this year starts, I am sitting here wondering what this year will be like. I wonder what I will be like this year. I wonder what changes will happen. How they will affect me.
Last night I made popcorn. Not a remarkable event. But, it was the first time I had made popcorn without our puppy underfoot. As usual, I dropped some popcorn pieces as I was pouring it into the bowls. I looked down and realized that for the first time in 16 years I had to pick that popcorn up. There was no Shugo to scarf it down and beg for more.
This is just one example of how things have changed this past year. Last year the thought of losing Shugo was a possibility, but by the end of the year, it was reality.
I am grateful for my faith in our Creator. For, without that faith, that assurance of His care and protection of me, I could not face a new year that is unknown. I know this is a different tone than my usual post, but, this is what is on my heart. I face this new year, now, 362 days left in it. I know I will write about it, cry over it, fight it, enjoy it and this time next year, Lord willing, I will look back and once more know who it was who actually got me through it. Thank you Lord, in advance. Happy New Year.