The sun shines different ways in winter and summer. We shine different ways in the seasons of our lives. ~Terri Guillemets
In April of 2013 I wrote a post titled “One is Silver…”. I have thought of this post several times the last week or so. It was one of those posts that was on my heart when I wrote it and one I think of often.
In it, I talked about friends, old, new and those whom I had just met. Seasons move on and it is always fascinating to me to see how things change over the years.
Having just reread this post I smile as I realize those friends who I knew were going to move into a different part of my life, have. I cannot imagine my life without them now. They are a part of the vein of my life that gives breath and laughter to me.
There were some who were in an autumn phase of friendship, and now I look back and realize that those friendships were not cared for and sadly, they are dormant. Sometimes too much time passes and it is hard to renew and start over. I store the memories in my heart and pray for them, but there is a mixture of resignation, regret and acceptance that this is where we are as friends.
Other friends are slipping into different categories and it intrigues me to see the changes. It is like I am standing at one of those car wash facilities where you stand at a window and see your car progress through the line. You see what is happening with the car, but, you are helpless if you notice a window is opened a crack. You can see the damage slip into the car, but there isn’t anything you can do until the car travels to the end and you can grab a towel to get it dried.
Some friendships are that car with the open window. You can see the crack in the window and know that something is going to happen. It is like it is out of your grasp, but there is nothing you can do to change it at the moment.
No, I have never left a window open in a car wash, but, I have imagined it often. I use it as an analogy for the purpose of this essay on friends. Sometimes that crack is there, you see it, but, it really isn’t doing anything, so nothing changes.
Other times that crack can let everything fly through and you end up with all this debris thrown about inside.
In thinking of this with friends, I realize that sometimes that debris is necessary. Change is necessary. Reevaluation is necessary. Growth is different in each of us. A tree’s branches do not grow the same length all together. Each limb has its own unique character. It is the same with people. They are part of your heart, part of your life, but often times life itself, and circumstances and health all get intertwined and friendships suffer.
The good ones are renewed in time. They come back stronger, fuller. The joy is greater, the laughter is louder and the heart is more comforted by the other.
Thank you for reflecting with me on friendships. I appreciate your visit here.
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. ~Henri Nouwen
I will continue to think on my friendships. I strive to be a true friend, for we need true friends in this world that is harsh and unfair and at times, unlovely. So, to my friends, those silver, those gold, those who have a patina and those who are a bit rusty, know that my heart carries you with me. You have helped to shape me into who I am and for that, I am grateful. As the season of autumn approaches, know that I am here. A little bare of leaves, as it were, and a little exposed, but rooted down in the bonds that tie us together. Thank you for being you. Cathi (DAF)