Today I have received two surprises via mail and delivery. The first was the mail. I received a card from a friend. It’s always fun to get mail, especially when it is just because. There were no birthdays or anniversaries for me and there it was, sitting in my mailbox, a red envelope with my name on it. I was thrilled!
Inside was a wonderful card… it had the word blog all over the front of it and at first that is all I saw. I was outside in the sun and the lettering is shiny. I then focused on the colored lettering and saw the phrase, I’m more interesting on my blog. I just started laughing. This friend knows me well, I thought…
But, she did not mean that, she wrote an encouraging letter inside the card. The card, she said, reminded her of me. She then went on to tell me that she enjoys my blog and that she is glad I started writing it. I felt humbled. Humbled, because the last couple of days I have questioned if I should continue writing, and if anything I wrote really made a difference in the greater scheme of things.
I love to write. I always have. I laughed when I read the card, well, because, I AM more interesting on my blog! My confidence level when I write is strong. I can express myself better when I write. I look at things and learn more about myself when I write.
In person, well, I tend to be quiet. Unless of course, I feel extremely comfortable around you, or I have known you my entire life, or you are related to me. Large crowds creep me out, although I would love to speak to groups of women. I do well with one on one conversations. I do not ask questions. I am trying to change that. But, on a whole, I am a bit of a boring conversationalist.
I am an introvert. I have said this before and I know I will repeat myself. Saying this and repeating this is a self-defense for introverts. It somehow allows us the excuse to not say much and not join in. I am married to an extrovert. Through the years we have gone to parties and he mingles and goes from conversation to conversation. I stand there, making small talk. Nice dress. Pretty place. Weather has been good, bad, rainy, hot… (depends on the time of the year). That is when I see people’s eyes glaze over and they make an excuse to go get a drink, even though theirs is full. I don’t get hurt by that, I understand. Get me one too!
Countless evenings have been spent in agony. Of course, in my mind, I am making all sorts of conversations, but, they never seem to come out audibly. Yes, I am more interesting on my blog!
The other gift today was from a friend who sent me a Bible study book. It looks fascinating and I cannot wait to start it. She had gone to a retreat recently and heard this author speak. She said she had reminded her of me. Opening the book and seeing the detail and the depth this study goes into, I wondered how this author ever reminded her of me. I read the author’s biography and again I wondered. I looked at the author’s picture and it looked like how I wore my hair the last time I saw this friend, so maybe that was it.
Again, I thought, I am more interesting on my blog. Maybe that is the key though. As my friend wrote in the card, she gets to see more of me in my writing. She said she sees the inside me.
Maybe that’s what this blog is for me… A place to allow myself to be me. Maybe that is why I am more interesting on my blog!
Thanks for stopping by today. I do appreciate you. Cathi (DAF)