dearanonymousfriend

Ramblings from a would be writer

Family…

on June 12, 2016

A couple of days ago, I had this thought go through my mind.  It was my nephew’s birthday and I was thinking how much I missed him and wished I could just sit and visit with him for a few hours.

I thought about how I should write about family.  Then I didn’t write anything.

Today my cousin shared a photo on Facebook of my mother’s family.  It was a memory that was shared and I looked over all the original comments and read the new ones.  There was a theme across the comments, that all wished we had known them better.

This is what I thought to write about earlier this week.  How, as families, we don’t take the time to learn, listen and get to know one another.

When I start to think about such things there is a hurt in my heart.  It is like being homesick for something unknown.  A hurting to reach out and hug or touch or laugh with someone who is no longer near or close.

I married young.  I lived overseas.  Phone calls were expensive and you just didn’t call.  Letters helped, but those only went so far.  You can write so many pages and then your hand dies, the writing goes weird and you give up.    I can remember writing letters to my aunts and uncles, not often , but through different seasons.  I corresponded with one of my mother’s brothers for several years until he passed.  I got a glimpse into his personality and a bit of what he thought about.  I always looked forward to those letters.  And, then, they were gone.

Another nephew’s birthday is tomorrow.  He is the oldest of the next generation.  I was living overseas when he was born.  I didn’t get the birth announcement until he was almost a month old.  I bonded with him immediately.  My heart sang whenever I would receive a new photo of him.  I didn’t get to see him until he was almost four.

I didn’t get to see my nieces or nephews often.  Living on the west coast prevented us from just dropping in for a visit.  I look back with regret that I didn’t get to see them.  I didn’t get to see school plays or see how they were growing.  But, likewise, they did not get to know me or their cousins, my daughters.

It is true, that military families make their own ‘families’ and this is a huge comfort and help.  I could not manage without my family that are not related through blood.  They have shared in life events that my blood family could not be present for. But, that is another post.

This post is for my family, my sisters, my brother-in-laws, my nephews and my nieces.  I want them to know that with all my heart, I love you.  You have each etched deep within my heart, your own place.  These are the places I hold dear.  They are filled with conversations we have had.  They are filled with photos of your life that you have posted or shared, or on that rare occasion, I have seen.  We may not know everything about each other, but that does not matter.  For, you are my family.  You are my blood relations.  You will always be in my heart, my thoughts and prayers.  I am proud of you.  Your accomplishments make me beam.  Your sorrows prick my heart and I hurt for you.  Your laughter makes me laugh.

I had a brief conversation with my oldest nephew a couple of years ago.  He was rushing to see his nephew.  He said he hated not being closer to him, that he loved him so much and just wanted to be near him.  He was being honest with me and I was able to look him in the eye and tell him I totally understood, for that is how I felt about him.    At that moment we understood each other in a way we had never before experienced.  I think of that moment often.

These thoughts have been on my mind often the past few weeks.  I needed to let my family know how precious they are to me.  It’s good to let those you love know they are loved.  Too often we are preoccupied with our own lives and we forget that family may need to hear from us.  So, to my nieces and nephew who may read this, Yes, I am that old weird aunt that still hugs on you and cries when she sees you, but, I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS love you and be here for you.  Thank you for making my life so much fuller because of you.

Thanks for stopping by, DAF (Cathi)

 

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8 responses to “Family…

  1. Helen says:

    You are lucky to have siblings and nieces and nephews I don’t think any of you feel how out of sync I feel. I did not know any of you growing up. My mother felt not accepted in the family being non Catholic although aunt dot stiller was accepted non Catholic and divorced. We did not visit or know the family. I was told by an aunt that dad is in pergitory for not having him buried by a priest. My mother and my aunts never got along. The rest of you have family I do not! So enjoy, I am very envious which I know is a sin feel free to pass on…Helen Kay

  2. Peggy says:

    This is so true for me too Cathi. I love my whole family, not just brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, in laws & nieces & nephews. I hold each one of them in my heart too. This past year has taught me a lot & I am thankful for each & rveryone one of them. You my friend have come back into my life & I hope we stay connected because you have a place in my heart too. Thanks for sharing this one.

  3. Sure Peggy, I am glad you liked this, I am so thankful that we are back in touch too… love you my friend!

  4. Helen, thank you for such an open and honest message, Love you cousin, sent you a note on fb.

  5. Diane says:

    Cathi, I loved waht you shared today. I love my family….it seems over the years taht I was the child of my parents’ who loved family. My sibblings wanted to be “themselves”….things were no one elses business…you probably know that thinking. I loved my aunts dearly, mainly close to my father’s sisters, and they were wonderful loving aunts to me. I loved my uncles, and they were my father’s brothers as well. Just such fond memories, even though we lived in CA and they lived in Missouri.

    I love my niees and nephews….mainly the closest to my brother’s two sons…both reside in Florida. My other nieces are basically not interested in family either. When we moved to TX, Heather wanted her family to be close to Jonathan (her nephew) who had already moved to TX. She wanted her kids to be close to Charles (also her nephew) as well. I am happy to say that all of our family now lives in TX except Tracy our daughter, who lives in WA., and her two adult children who live in So. Cal.

    We see our family as often as we can, and we adore Jonathan’s baby girl, Sophie Joy…who will be 1 year in July. We treasure family times….not sure if they are exactly treasured by some, but hopefully they will grow to treasure family times.

    I love my family of God…Christian sisters who are close, through internet etc., but so thankful for them as well. You dear friend and sister in the Lord, are in that group.

    Thank you, for sharing your heart…..and your love for family. I believe family and the love of family and the importance of family needs to be brought to light more than ever. Hugs!

  6. What a beautiful comment, Diane, thank you so much for your encouragement and love. Thanks for being you!

  7. eapuleo says:

    I love this!! And love you too!!!

  8. I love you, kept thinking of all the days we had when you skipped school and we went shopping. Love and miss you so much, Beth Ann

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