When the past knocks on your door…

Life is weird.  Very weird.  You have a life and you go through it day by day.  Some days blur into another and yet you just keep going.

Being a military family we have lived several places.  When we were married 16 months we moved to Japan.  Japan was a phenomenal experience.  We met a group of people who impacted our lives in so many ways.  We are in touch with many of the people we met there.

There was one couple that we met.  They were a bit older than us and we sort of looked up to them for some wisdom and guidance and just friendship.

After Japan we moved to Maine and from there to San Diego.  In San Diego we were able to reconnect with several of the friends from Japan.  They had all left the military and settled in San Diego and hubby and I were transferred there.  We were a bit apprehensive in going to San Diego and seeing people after three years, but we swallowed hard and proceeded to go.

One family we stayed with when we arrived in California and had such a great time.  Our families are still very close and in fact, I am awaiting a phone call from her now.

There were other families though, that the reunion was not quite the same.  One being the older couple we had met.  The reunion was cold and a bit brusque.  We were confused by this and did not understand it.  But, we continued and tried as we could to rekindle the friendship.

The trouble was this couple was in the throes of getting divorced.  It was like family getting divorced.  It tore a seam in a group of friends that had been knitted together in a foreign country.  We had become a functioning group, a family, while we were all stationed together.  The divorce pitted friends against friends.  There was nothing anyone could do except watch and look and try to make sense of it.

So, eventually the remainder of us took our sides and chose to not discuss it.  Friendships were patched together and some were completely knitted back together.

Hubby and I took her side.  It’s not like we chose randomly, it was truly after much talking and praying and trying to remain like the Swiss, but, I accepted to be an attendant at her wedding and that put a wall up in some topics of conversation.

Since that time we have totally lost contact with her.  Priorities and life and growing up got in the way.  I hardly think of her most of the time.  I wouldn’t have today, except, in the mail today was a large envelope from some friends… those ones we stayed with?  The one I am waiting a phone call from?    In the envelope was a letter and card from him.  That long ago friend.

I see it as a letter from a person who has realized his mortality.  We are all getting there and some days it hits us more than others.  So, hubby and I read the letter together.  We looked at one another and merely said, “HMMM…”  .  We shared a look and he went back to work on his computer and I have mused to myself about the letter.

We now have a choice to ignore this letter or write a return letter.  It’s not like we dislike this person.  He is nice enough and I am certain he means well.  Time, age, distance and wisdom all bring to question whether it is a worthwhile thing to go back.   So, I sit here, thinking and pondering the value.  Time and nostalgia can dredge up things that are better left buried and covered.   I guess there are times when the past knocking on the door is a wake up call to stay in the present.    Just some thoughts this cold winter day.  DAF


Published by marycatherinethomas

M. Catherine Thomas is a published writer, speaker and teacher. Mother of two and grandmother..

4 thoughts on “When the past knocks on your door…

  1. Difficult one, DAF. I suppose much of it will depend on the contents of the letter and what he wants. If it’s just to say hi and heal the past then that’s less of a problem than if he wants to try and pick up from where you all left off. I’d sleep on it. Usually, I have a better idea, in the morning, of how I truly feel. Good luck with it.

  2. Thanks Momus! I had to write something and get the thought process started… it’s a tough one that I think needs to be addressed and trying to figure out the how… I know how hubby would deal with it, so I need to be the one who speaks grace… thanks for the input, and yes, I will sleep on it! ❤

  3. So glad you have “gone public” with your blog. Your writing keeps me wanting to read more, so looking forward to new blogs. Love you!

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