When 2014 started, hubby and I both felt like this was going to be a year of change. January was the month and it was a new year. Fresh year. Things were hard for us, but somehow 2014 dawned with a ray of bright hope. We were encouraged and determined to see what great changes came this year.
This has been a year of change. Good change, but change can be difficult. Change is tiring. Change can have you clinging to throne of Heaven praying for the year to be over.
Good things have happened this year. Answers to things I have prayed for for years have come to completion.
And yes, there is a ‘but’ in that last statement.
But… (see, told you!) this year has been a year of strain. Physical and emotional strain.
I came to a point in late July where my brain could not coherently sort it all out. I could not think about writing. I could no longer try to be positive in writing about things around me. I was tired.
Tired from a summer of seeing my childhood flash before my eyes in a constant flash-back scenario. Dealing with memories that I had forgotten decades ago and was glad to have them put away.
Weariness is an odd thing. You aren’t depressed. You aren’t angry. You aren’t a whole list of things. You are just weary. The sky is blue and the clouds are gorgeous, but somehow the blue is a bit duller and the nuances of the clouds do not elicit the joy they usually do.
I had not expected this by-product of a year of change. I thought I would go forth with vigor and excitement. I saw myself flitting from one change to the other, gaining energy and endurance with each thing crossed of our list of ‘to do’s’ .
Last week hubby and I talked to one another. We agreed we have been couch slugs since we returned home in late July. We have continued to do things, but we have been slugs. We have had our meals on the couch and had indulged in ice cream cones daily. We made the decision that this would change. We were going to rejoin the ranks of living. We have. We still have our ice cream cones, but not daily. We have rediscovered our kitchen table and the fun of actually talking to one another while eating a meal. I have completed several projects this week.
And, so , now I have come up from the cobwebs and read some of my favorite bloggers. I have missed the joy I receive when reading these talented people’s writing. I think, I am finally home from a long summer away. It feels good.
Now, on to the next change that is coming soon. A new granddaughter, a little lady to keep little man company. A cousin for my little man. She has already given us fits and starts and scares and with life. She has already made a statement of what her personality will be, determined. We should be able to meet her maybe next month, but hopefully she will be good and not come until she is supposed to in November.
So, thanks for stopping by. I hope you haven’t forgotten me…. DAF