] Yesterday, being Valentine’s Day, there were many odes of love to your spouse, or significant other. These were all wonderful posts, filled with reminders of what makes them a perfect couple.
Several years ago, hubby and I had a season where perfect was a word that did not cross our lips. Each relationship, friendship, marriage have seasons. Some of these seasons rip the very fabric of love. It hits you like a bus, it has that type of impact on you. Many times it marks the end of two people.
When this season hit us, I went away for a few days. I drove to Palm Springs and stayed in a nice hotel. It was late spring and as I floated in the pool, I could look at the snow-covered mountains surrounding the city. It is one of my favorite places. I will always remember that image.
During this time I prayed. A lot. I drove around exploring the city. I ate. I went to a movie by myself in the middle of the day when I would normally be busy at work. It was an enjoyable few days in the midst of an emotional storm that threatened to wipe me out.
I returned home with focus. I knew what had to be done. It was not what I had expected to do and I knew it would not be easy. I had to forgive.
Forgiveness is a funny thing. We want it all the time. We want it to be permanent and easy. It is neither. Sometimes, in the beginning, it is an hourly task. It has to be said aloud. It has to seep into your mind and your heart. It then begins to creep into your spirit where it will eventually live. At least that is how it happened with me.
Although yesterday was a day to show love and affection at its height, it is the everyday life where we love and live. One day of flowers and candy does not wipe out a year full of hurt and discouragement. I know yesterday many were filled with disappointment. The day that is supposed to hold the joy and laughter may not have included flowers or dinner or chocolates. I know this, because, there have been years where, I too, was sad when hubby appeared at the door empty-handed, forgetful and tired.
Since the season that was a defining moment in our life, I have learned much about this thing we call love and so easily pass this word around. It is resilient. It can withstand hard times. It can weather storms. It can be released when you say, “I forgive you.”
For me, forgiveness does not mean forgetting. To forget the hard times is to throw away the lessons learned. No, to me, forgiveness is to remember and to remember clearly, thus leading the path to not repeat.
I Peter 4:8 says, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (New Living Translation)
So, today, I continue to celebrate the love I have for my hubby. It may not be roses and wine and chocolate, but it will be a sturdy love. A love filled with arguments and discussions and leftovers and weeds filling the yard. And, daily, we will forgive. The little things we do without thinking and the bigger things we do out of anger.
Thank you for reading this post today, it is one I have wanted to write for a while now. DAF