On Observing Me…. 31 Days

Yesterday, knowing I was going to attempt this challenge, I started to go about my day looking for things to blog about.  I figured I would notice what was around me and see if anything hit me in the face.
This was when I decided, that instead of noticing, I would see what words were similar and therefore, I could use the other word.  I thought about using look-see, but somehow, I could not get those words onto the form to sign up for this challenge.  So, on, I went.  I saw the word observing and I knew I had found my word!
This all happened after I went to the doctor’s office with my dear hubby.  Yes, another day, another doctor.   The story of that visit is another story, but suffice it to say, he fell, he broke and now he needs surgery in November.  Yes, that will be great fodder for posts!  But, for now, he is up and moving and dealing with some pain.
Back to the waiting room and my observing.  There were several folks there, many on crutches, more with casts of varying designs, and some just hobbling along.  I thought of my friend Susannah, who blogs at athingirldotcom.  She can write people she watches like no one else I know.  She is fun and I look forward to her posts daily.  Anyhow, I digress.
I looked around the room while we all waited.  One woman to the right of me had her leg propped up on a chair in front of her.  Every two seconds, it seemed, she moaned.  Loudly.  It was hard not to notice her.  Bingo!  I found my blogging inspiration!  Or, so I thought.
Everyone in the waiting room watched her, some with disdain and those looks that say, “you think you hurt?”  At first, I thought it might be a bit on the dramatic side and I was already on paragraph two in my mental post.
When she got up with the help of the man with her, I realized something about myself.  I had become jaded.  I am cynical.  I have spent so much time in doctor’s offices that I no longer have the first response of sympathy or care.  It is another day, another doctor.    It is wrong.
At what point did my caring self get replaced with this heartless creature?  Was it a year ago, two years ago, last month?  Last night before falling to sleep, I did an inventory of me.  I had not expected that the first thing I would observe in this challenge would be personal, but there it was, staring me in the face.  Time and experiences can pile debris on your heart.  Sometimes that debris acts like compost and it fertilizes your heart and spirit for good.  Sometimes it just becomes a landfill.
So, after giving my landfill to the Lord, and asking once more for a clean heart, I slept.  Today, renewed from sleep, I am going to continue on this challenge of observing things around me.  I will allow for some self observation also, as I know now, that nothing is off-limits for me.
Psalms 51:10, ” Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a loyal spirit within me.” (New Living Translation)
Thanks for stopping by today, I appreciate your visit, DAF

6 thoughts on “On Observing Me…. 31 Days

  1. This was great DAF…you really opened up…and you’re anything but jaded…you’re there because someone you love has a challenge and one has tunnel vision when they’re concerned over a loved one’s pain. When you observe people it gets sticky sometimes because truth should be front and center and judgment of oneself is not invited to that party. I think this piece is a turning point in your prose…a thingirl’s humble opinion.

  2. your comment moved me so much when I read it last night, I could not respond to it at the time. Your words are rattling around in my brain and I appreciate you. I like when I am challenged in a comment. Thank you for your opinion, it is one I value. How do you think this is a turning point? Just curious. DAF

  3. I work for a doctor and one thing I have learned over the years is the patients who complain loudly about their pain need the least care. I always try to give the benefit of the doubt that maybe just maybe this time it will be different, but I am wrong 9 out of 10 times. You’re not jaded, you’re human.

  4. It’s hard to keep myself open and unbiased. Like you said, life can teach me to be suspicious of others. I’m trying to be renewed in my own observations of life around me, to see the old with fresh eyes and to let the cynicism drop away. This was a great reminder.

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