Mazes

We plan the way we want to live,
but only God makes us able to live it.

                                                Proverbs 16:9 (The Message)

Did you ever feel like you were living in a maze?  One of those corn fields that are turned into mazes during the harvest?  I have actually never gone to one, but have seen photos of them and know that they can be confusing to go through.  The plantation down the road has a corn maze during the fall and there, in the middle of the maze is a platform that can be climbed upon to see where to go next.

When we moved four years ago, I left San Diego with a mental image of life in Charleston.  I had a plan.  I had a visual of what our life was going to be.  It was wonderful.  I was confident, hopeful, full of plans and ideas.  Ah!  naiveté!  To be able to come to this beautiful low country full of what amounted to ignorance on my part.

This scripture has become my life and I am learning it.  I learn the hard way.  I need to have it pounded into my head.  I am an object learner.  I need to see object lessons for things to become a part of me.

I had a plan.  It was, in theory, a great plan.  God had a greater plan for me.  A perfect plan for me.  He is a patient teacher.  I, however, an impatient student.

We moved.  We had family events, unplanned, unpleasant.  But, those times made for a new dynamic in our family.  It brought some of us closer. It was a good time.  Even in difficulty there is joy.  There is healing and bonding.

We had illness.  Long term illness.  It is becoming better.  We have had good news lately.  It is wonderful.  Major illnesses that lurked in the back of our minds, scary words we did not want to mention have been erased.  No longer does the specter of Alzheimer’s peek out from the dusty corners of our minds.  Relief that I will not lose my dear hubby to this disease is a relief.  My breath seems to come a bit easier in the 24 hours since we have found out that this is not what the problem is.  Reality of this is still settling in.  Thank you Lord that this is not an end of this part of the maze we have found ourselves in.   That prayer has rattled in my mind for the past few hours.

Still, we are in the middle of a maze.  We are still not released from doctors.  But, it looks like daylight ahead, it feels hopeful.

Loose ends seem to be fusing together.  God is still molding us, fixing us, changing us.  He is bringing into focus the life He wants us to live.  My plans fell to the wayside over a year ago.  They are collecting dust and I grieve that they are not part of the greater plan.  But, with the coming spring, I think hope will bloom and blossom.  That in the newness of the new season, a new plan will form.  A plan that will be perfect.  A plan, that may not be exactly as I had thought it would be, will be a fresh beginning, a renewal.

So, I take a few minutes here on the platform of our maze/life. I see the dead ends.  I see where paths twist and turn.  I think I can see the end.  I am still figuring out how we get there.  I guess the best way is to hold on to the hand of God and continue to ask Him for directions.

Thanks for stopping by today.  I appreciate your visit.  DAF

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