As my Dear Anonymous Hubby was pitching a tent in Gettysburg this past July, I grabbed my camera and started taking pictures. (He didn’t need my help at that time and I wasn’t offering…). He smiled as he watched me taking pictures of him and the view behind where our tent would sit and the road in front of where our tent would sit. However, when I took the next picture, he asked me what I was doing.
I told him I was taking pictures of the weeds from childhood so that I would have a reminder of them. I went on to tell him how, when I was told to ‘weed’ the grass I would pull the tops off of these weeds and walk away, thus leaving the root system in place. As a grown up, I now realize this meant that the weeds could spread out with their roots making more of them the following year or even later in the season.
As a child I would also grab these long stems and pull off the little beads, never realizing they were seeds and I was effectively sowing seeds of weeds. So, after taking the picture I reached down, grabbed the long stem and began, once more to remove the seeds and let them blow in the wind.
Later, after actually helping pitch the tent, I sat in our little outdoor chairs and looked at the pictures. The term, weeds from childhood rang in my mind. Great post title! Great post, hopefully. Anyhow, I have thought of this post since the second week of July. It has echoed in my thoughts and lurked behind other posts, waiting to be written.
We all carry our own personal weeds from childhood. They lie there dormant most of the times, but always peeking around at us, waiting to pop up and remind us that they are there.
I thought back to my nephew’s wedding reception. At one point my older sister grabbed my younger sister (mother of the groom) and stood up on a chair to dance. I was standing nearby taking pictures of them. I overheard my younger sister ask if I was going to be asked to join them. My older sister replied, “no, she’s too good. she would never come up here.” Weeds popped up within me. I also thought back to my childhood attempts at weeding the yard, where I pulled off the top of the weed making it look like it was gone.
I married very young and since I married into the military, I left home very young. I was the middle child, the quintessential middle child. If I was told to be home at midnight, I came in at 11:30, I tried to please everyone everywhere. Thus, since this is the impression I left on my sister, this is what she thinks. She loped the top off a weed, thinking that she knew it and that was that. She has failed to realize that my root system was in tact and with my travels and experiences there are many areas of my life she isn’t aware of. Those seeds on the weed have spread and with their spreading new aspects of my life are a part of me that aren’t known. She doesn’t know that no, I would not have danced on the chair, I would have jumped onto the table and danced. Did I? No, it was just too hot and I didn’t have the energy for it.
All of this got me thinking though. We have weeds from our childhood. Some beneficial, some not. The beneficial ones we grow from, we respond, we flourish. The weeds that take root when we are children that are not good also affect us. They rear their ugly heads up within us at times that are unexplainable.
I read a post today about a man who was injured and overcame the injury with zest and zeal for life. He had weeds that could have overtaken him and grown so thick that life was sucked away from him. He didn’t allow it, as he knew if he allowed those weeds to overtake him, it would keep him from living his life.
How do we respond to weeds from our childhood? Do we allow them to bring us down? Do we give them undue recognition? Do we refer to our childhood as a time that shaped bad habits in us? Do we cling to them, thinking they have to be in control of us? Do we allow them to overrun our lives like vines over growing an abandoned home?
I, for one, have done a lot of thinking on childhood weeds lately. Yes, they may pop up occasionally, they may sting for a moment, but I weedwhack them back. I have chosen to live my life now. I should say, NOW. There are too many precious moments and times to laugh and have joy to be held captive by an antiquated root system. I am looking forward with anticipation, with excitement, with hope. I serve a living God and I am not a victim of my past. Does that mean I don’t feel a tug at my heart at certain time and circumstances? No, I am human and things bother me. I just daily make the decision to weedwhack my life and enjoy the manicured lawn of my life. Yes, it may just be crabgrass, but it’s my crabgrass.
Thanks for stopping by! As always, DAF