2011 started as a busy year. Our oldest daughter was engaged to be married and we were in the last stages of planning an April wedding. Things were checked off our list, venue, done; caterer, done; music, done; dresses, bought. Just the usual tension and planning showers and we were ready to go.
End of January, while at the vet for our little dog who seemed to be going through somewhat of a neurotic stage, my cell phone rang. I checked it and put it over to voicemail. Continue to concentrate on what the vet is saying, something about increased tension in the house, phone rings again. Push the button to put it to voice mail.
Leaving the vet, I return the calls, it was our good friend and pastor in our former hometown. I ask what is going on when he answers and my year changed drastically. My daughter’s engagement was ended by her fiance. The wedding called off. No one really wants to know what was going through my mind at that moment, and I don’t even like to remember what was going through my mind.
The rest of the night is filled with phone calls and conversations that drained every ounce of energy from me. But, by the end of the night a plan was in motion and strength was ebbing back into my life.
I ended up going to pick up my oldest daughter and brought her back to our home to rest and recover. This was going to be a new beginning for her, we said. A fresh start, a time of hope. We believed it too.
This was now the end of February and we were heading into March. The first week of March our youngest and her husband called to let us know we were going to be grandparents. How excited we were! A new life, a new start. Another beginning to a somewhat bumpy start of 2011. We smiled and laughed and tried to be available to continue to encourage our oldest.
April came and we planned a dodged the bullet party for our oldest. We had the caterer, and people had flights into our city. We decided to party and celebrate a narrow escape. The morning of the party we found out our younger daughter had a miscarriage. Again the emotions reeled. Again, the energy drained out of me. We had the party and had a weekend with out-of-town family and friends. I then went and spent a week with my youngest and her husband while they dealt with the great loss they experienced.
On the way home from my youngest’s home I received a text from my dear anonymous hubby. He wasn’t feeling well and was heading home from work. I thought, emotions have finally hit him, that and the rich food from the weekend of partying. Oh, how I wish it was that simple. For the past year he has been the pin cushion to the doctor’s needles and fingers and they have poked and prodded him. Still no clear diagnosis. My motto at times has been, another day – another doctor.
I would like to say that through this year I have found incredible strength and courage. I would like to say that I discovered under my sweatshirt was Florence Nightingale. I would like to say that, but I can’t. I have been frustrated and have found that at times I have gone into my closet under the pretense of looking for something only to stand against a pile of clothes and hit my head over and over.
So, why, on the Easter Sunday do I write this? A couple of reasons, really. One is that in reading other blogs I am discovering how people show themselves to whomever is listening. They show who they are and what they are feeling. Just in the name of my blog, I have given myself the right to not be truly open. I hide behind that title and remain aloof. How can I touch people’s lives when I don’t allow myself to be touched by openness?
The second reason is that today, especially today, as a Christian, I am reminded of hope and new life. Our Lord suffered and died. That alone could be enough, but He surprised us all and rose from the grave. He defeated death and fear and sickness and this day serves as a wonderful reminder.
So, I need to remember that in 2011, the Lord saved my daughter from what could have been a horrible marriage. He healed her heart and she is now filled with a new sense of the possible. Is everything perfect in her life? No. She is back living in the city she loves and she is dealing with life and overcoming all the results of trusting someone who cleared out her bank account and other things. But, she is in the process of coming out of the other side of this past year, stronger and wiser.
On Christmas Day our youngest and her husband told us that we will be grandparents in July. We are having a dear little grandson. They are doing well and we are so anxious to hold him and see the next generation in our family.
As for my dear, dear hubby, he is okay. Still not better, but we are coping and learning how to live in this new normal. We have our moments, moments of laughter and silliness, and I am still NOT Florence Nightingale, but the trips to my closet have grown fewer and farther in between.
2012 is well on its way. Each day is new. Each day is met with its own challenges. But, we hold on to the hope we have, especially this Easter Day. God is a God of surprises and hope.
Thanks for stopping by, as always, DAF