dearanonymousfriend

Ramblings from a would be writer

On Visiting the Folks… July 10, 2014

Filed under: Family — dearanonymousfriend @ 4:58 pm
Tags: , , ,

Today I visited my father.  He didn’t say much, in fact he said nothing.  He is like that, and has been since he passed away several years ago.

I know that opening sentence is a bit callous, but, I can tend to be a bit glib when talking about my folks.

I still miss them and think of them often.  Each time I pass the apartment where my father lived, I look up on the deck to see if he is still there.  I chide myself each time I do that, but, still I do it.

Today, hubby and I were out and about.  I asked if we could stop by and visit my Dad.  He drove up and parked.  We walked up to the grave and I looked down at the stone.  There was his name, his birthdate and date of death.  Underneath was listed  Sgt. AACS WWII.  Beside his stone was a flag.  Hubby straightened the flag and we paid our respects.

I know it changes nothing when I go to visit my folks.  I know they do not know that I am there.  But, a part of me needs to visit.  I need to see  their graves, and take a moment to remember them.  To stop my day and remember.  Most of the time those moments last maybe three minutes in length.

The older I get the more I wonder how I will be remembered.  Will I be remembered for grace and laughter and help?  Or will there be moments that are not my best that will be brought to mind?

I remember good things about my folks.  Times that were nice.  But, honestly, I still remember some not so great times also.  I guess that is life and memories, good and bad and ordinary.

Anyhow, I always pride myself that I can visit my folks and not get into any arguments anymore….

Thanks for stopping by, DAF

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4 Responses to “On Visiting the Folks…”

  1. I think that’s a very balanced and realistic way of looking at the past. Nothing can change it but we can accept the good and bad and move on. Parents are never perfect. I try but I often fail miserably! Hopefully, my kids will remember that I tried. ;) I know that’s the way I think of my own – being able to laugh and discuss with my siblings the real people they were and not some made up version. Loved but not romanticised.x

  2. momus, thank you! I think that since children do not come with instruction manuals, we, as parents are often wining it! The same as our parents did. I am glad you enjoyed this. I appreciate your visits.

  3. Fitting post for me to read this week. This week marked 13 years since I lost my Dad. I’m way overdue for a visit. And I do think they know you are there, watching you from above. I too had many arguments too and didn’t even leave things on such a good note (it was very sudden) – but for my own peace and to teach my kids – I TRY and focus on the good and learn from the past. Have a great weekend!

  4. I am so sorry for you loss. My dad’s death was also quite sudden. Hope you have a good weekend too, dogeared!


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